As I read through the blog, it was one of those moments were I was like... wow, she nailed it. (Then selfishly I thought, man, I wish I could write like that!) But as I read on, she presented something that was, for me at least, almost an epiphany. I loved it so much that I wanted to share it with you today.
As you know, I value honesty on this blog. I purposed to write about real life. Not some made up, idyllic lifestyle with perfect pictures of homemade food I cooked and awesome thrifty DIY projects that are repinned 209384023984 times on Pinterest. That's not who I am. And that's not who I want to present myself to be. I'm screwed up. I'm selfish. I'm emotional. Way more whiny than I should be. I act entitled, I talk too much, and most of the time I'm slightly irrational.
I will never communicate God's love and redemption in my life (and his desire and willingness to do it in yours) if I don't allow myself grace. Because in allowing myself to receive it, I'm automatically extending it to others.
If I always try and appear to have it all together and act like the perfect christian, wife, and mother, I'm only presenting other young moms/women/people the opportunity for comparison. And comparison is the breading ground for guilt, and doubt, and any other mindset that's not of God. Basically, the opposite of grace.
If I'm honest about the struggles I have and the things I deal with on a daily basis and I say...
"Hey, I deal with anger towards my kids. God is really dealing with me about this and he's showing me ways to deal with them more effectively and in loving Christlike ways. But ya know what? I still only get it right 50% of the time and right now, that's ok. Because God is still growing me and I know he loves me in spite of it."
"I want to punch my husband in the face every time he bites his nails. I know that's not the most appropriate response, but I'm so over being nice about it. But, God is helping me identify my attitude and I'm figuring out better ways of communicating my frustration. Sometimes."
"I hate being broke. I know there are times when I don't handle our money as I should, especially when it's spent selfishly, but not having money to provide for my kids makes me feel like a bad mom. But, I know God understands my fears and I know he promises to provide for us. Sometimes I just have a hard time applying it in my life."
That is going to be WAY less alienating than acting like I'm super woman. Because I'm not. And I don't want people to perceive that. God didn't create us to be shiny happy people. He didn't act that way. His disciples didn't act that way. All the people throughout the Bible that mirrored God's heart- they didn't act that way. Why have we come to the point where we feel like it's necessary for us to be that way? I don't think that's God's intention for us.
In Psalm 51:16-17 it says....
You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.
God doesn't need us to bring something perfect to him. He doesn't need a nice pressed, polished, painted version of us. He wants the broken parts of us. He wants our willing spirit.
Don't get caught up in fake. Don't get caught up in your shortfalls. Don't get caught up in wish-I-could's. Be who you are. Extend yourself grace. Ask God for wisdom for overcoming those things and start seeking out ways to be more like him. And most of all- let's just be honest. Let's just be the person God sees. The broken, contrite ones. Those are the best ways to be. Don't fear the judgement of others. Set that aside and consider the freedom you could be offering someone else by just being the messed up, human, grace filled you. Consider the freedom you'd be allowing yourself! Try it today. Even if it's just once. I bet you'll feel better...