So I started counting calories on Saturday. I know it's probably not the traditional day to "start" the healthy eating venture, but I didn't think about it until Sunday when I realized that I had two full weekend days of successful calorie counting. When I was counting calories in the late summer and fall, I rarely made it through a weekend within my calorie range. So, I'm making improvements right out of the gate!
I honestly don't recall if I've shared this or even a snip it of this before, but I'm going to do it again anyways. After taking up running, doing 2 races, and losing about 30 inches and 20 lbs, I was absolutely scared to start this process again. I wrestled with it for a few weeks before deciding it was time to get back to it. I'm coming out of some very dark days, and not to place blame or make excuses, but I do feel like they had to do in large part with my weight loss. Even though it was good in itself, caused me to become extremely self focused. It started so innocently. I was getting healthy. I was feeling better. And slowly but surely, it turned into me taking control over my life and gaining a confidence I've never had before. Accomplishment. And those things are all good, but not when they aren't done in God's name and as an act of worship to God. I've been a Christian for 25 years. I grew up in church. There were times in my life when I was in my church building more than I was in my own home. I went to private school for 12 years, then went to private college for 4 years. I married a pastor. I know the Bible. I know theology and doctrine. I know about God. In fact, on a very educational level, I could probably write a book on how our body is a temple. On how living a healthy lifestyle is holy and pleasing to God. But just because I had that knowledge didn't mean I had the desire. I got caught up in the weight "I" was losing. I got caught up in the fact that "I" was making myself feel better. I got caught up in the fact that "I" was accomplishing all this. And as my focus turned to myself in the area of health and weight loss, it also turned to myself in my marriage, as a parent, as a friend. I started feeling like... I'm becoming a better person so I deserve better. Now having the grace of God covering me in this area, having sought forgiveness from God and my husband and family, I can see all that. Hindsight. And that hindsight was the exact reason I was so scared to start over again. I did and do still feel like I'm walking on a narrow cliff. It's a steep climb and the edge is very close. And off that edge is that same stinky pit of selfish confidence and ambition that I just crawled out of. I would covet your prayers as, for the first time in my life, I submit this struggle to God daily. I know that I need to be healthy. I know that I need to live a lifestyle that is pleasing to God. I know that this is the body He's given me and I'm a steward of it. And I'm also learning that all things are possible with God. That I was created for more than obesity, selfishness, and discontentedness. I hope that for those of you seeking to live out a healthy lifestyle and/or lose weight and exercise that it wouldn't be a self thing, that it would be a God thing.
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So, I mentioned last week in my 2013 goals blog post that I'm planning on memorizing a new scripture each week. This week is my theme verse for this year, Ephesians 3:20-21:
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. When I was thinking about memorizing scripture, I thought back to high school when it was a weekly requirement for our Bible class. In high school, I would memorize it by writing it over and over again. I know this would probably still work, but I don't have a ton of time to sit and just write it out over and over. So, I decided that I'd post it in the bathroom. With all the water I've been drinking I'm in the bathroom ALL.THE.TIME. So, I figured it was a good way to spend the min or two I'm in the bathroom. I've been reciting it to myself completely and then been trying to memorize it in segments. So far, so good! At the same time yesterday, I found myself worrying about a financial bind we'll be in the next 2 weeks. I've been wrestling with God... "Ok, God, we've only got so much and we've gotta use most of it to pay for this situation. I know that you've led us to this, but isn't there another way? I mean, we'll have almost no money left, what if something happens.... what if.... what if...." I was having this conversation with God again yesterday (funny how it's less of a conversation and more of me informing God of something he already knows about) when suddenly I remembered the first segment of my memory verse this week... "... To Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine..." I seriously rolled my eyes at myself. Really, Jessica?! You're memorizing this verse that is proof that this issue is not impossible for God. Yet you're sitting here worrying about it. How silly we humans are. Thank You, God, for reminding me that there is no need for shortsightedness and fear because you are capable of things that I can't even dream up! And thank you for loving me in spite of my lack of faith! The first full week of the year. And I'll just be honest, I'm overflowing with hope and excitement about this new year and the path the Lord is leading us down! Aaron and I have implemented a lot of change in our relationship and in our life over the last weeks and I'm starting to see the fruit of that. It's encouraging to say the least. I know that this year is going to be a good one, I can feel it in my spirit. Now, I know that doesn't mean everything will be roses for 359 days left this year, there is a hard road ahead and we're still climbing upward, but there is joy in the journey!
Ok, now onto my menu for this week. I went grocery shopping and planned part of the menu for this week last Thursday. I had to do a little refresher on what the menu looked like before I started typing up this post. Most everything I'm fixing this week is a new recipe or meal for us. I officially started my calorie counting on Saturday, so most of these are lower calorie dishes. Here's the rundown... Monday- BBQ Chicken Pita sandwiches. This is a new one for us, but it sounds delish. It's Shredded BBQ chicken in a whole wheat pita with a "slaw" of sorts. Lettuce and cucumber in a ranch dressing. Sounds so good! I'm excited to try it. Tuesday- Tostadas. I wanted a new way to only use 1 tortilla and be able to load it up with healthy stuff like black beans and veggies. Wednesday- Biscuit Pizza. Wednesday is going to be a little crazy for us, and these are easy easy. And good. Thursday- Monteray Chicken. Baked Chicken Breast smothered in salsa and a little bit of cheese. This dish has a lo of names, but it sounds yummy and it's healthy! Friday- Chicken Nuggets. I found a really good Chick fil A copycat recipe and I'll be using that to make some chicken nuggets. One large chicken breast makes enough nuggets to feed the whole family! I hope that everyone has a blessed week getting back into the swing of things! I know schools starts back this week for Emmy and she's excited about it! I pray that you'll be ever aware of the Lord's presence surrounding you this week as you head back to work and school! Today is one of those days where I'm hesitant to even publish a new blog post. I committed to myself when I started this blog that I was going to be transparent and sincere with every word I typed. And I can be confident in this statement... I feel I've done that. There were days when I sat down at the computer and had no idea what to type and I felt like the Lord gave me words. There have been days when there was something I'd been wanting to post about for weeks and finally felt like it was the right time.
When I decided to start a blog, my first hesitancy was what will I write about? There are a handful of blogs I follow daily and they all have a topic- fashion, decorating, cooking, exercise. None of which do I specialize in. But, I went ahead and I started the blog anyways just hoping that it would be something the Lord would use to reach even 1 person. That maybe something said on here would resound with even one. I never want to post something that is just a space filler. I don't want to post anything or endorse anything that I don't totally believe in myself. And today is just one of those days where I feel kind of tapped out. I don't have any ideas. I've done nothing of creative genius to feature and I haven't cooked anything interesting lately. I do feel like the Lord is teaching me so much and growing me like crazy, but so much of it is very personal right now and right now isn't the right time to put it out there. In truth, I don't even know how to title this blog post today. I'm just sharing some of my heart. I want all of you who read this to know how much I appreciate you. I don't even know some of you I'm sure and yet you've taken a few mins of your day to stop by Definitely.Maybe. and read the words I've put out there. I want you to know that I pray for you. I pray for the people who might read this that maybe something I say, the words I feel like the Lords has given me, He would use to reveal Himself to you or show you more of His character. And my prayer for you today is just that. That you would allow Him to saturate your heart and soul with His love and peace. That you would accept His grace and mercy and that you would walk in His presence today. I'm learning how endless His love for me is, and He feels the same way about you. Purpose today, this hour even that you will live for Him alone. And then have a great day! I mentioned yesterday that I'm not doing resolutions. Some of them my look like resolutions, but they're more like goals. Some of them won't be happening until later in the year, but they're all something for me to work towards. Last week Aaron and I took a few hours and sat down together and made a list of our individual goals then went through them together. Most of our goals overlapped so it made it easy to create a plan of action. I have a lot this year, but like I said, they aren't all starting today or tomorrow.
Alright... let's get to it... 1. (And probably the most cliche) is to continue losing weight. I posted last week a little bit of my struggle up to this point, but I figured there's no time like the present. Aaron and I are going to start counting calories and doing the Couch to 5k training together. This worked well for me last time, and I know it will again. 2. Run 2 5k's this year. Spring and Fall. We're planning on registering for the Indianapolis 500 Festival 5k on May 4th. Then in the fall we'll run the Relay For Life 5k. It will give us an opportunity to continue training but also compare our times for each race. 3. Pay off Debt and Save. I haven't said much about this regarding Aaron's work, but his new job with the post office will be a significant pay raise for us. We've been able to sit down and create a tentative budget that will allow us to save an emergency fun, pay off our credit card debt (which is all our debt with exception of school loans) and continue saving towards purchasing another car and a down payment on a house. We attended Financial Peace University in the Fall of 2011 and we'll be implementing Dave Ramsey's Baby Steps to Financial Freedom. We should have all our debt paid off by summer! 4. A weekend getaway for Aaron and I. With the exception of our Honeymoon, Aaron and I have never had a "getaway" together. Aaron and I are in a rebuilding stage in our marriage. If you've followed my blog or know us well, you know that the last 12 weeks of our marriage hasn't been roses. Personal baggage and the problems we've had in the last 5 years finally pinnacled. We're in counseling and we're making HUGE steps towards having a marriage that we both want and that glorifies God. I'm hoping that we'll be able to put some money aside for the next few months so that in the fall we can have a nice weekend away. 5. Take a class. I want to take a class in something this year. I've talked in the past about possibly taking a nutrition class. I'd enjoy cake decorating. A cooking class would be fun. At some point in 2013 I'd like to take a little time for myself and learn something new! 6. Read through the Bible in a year. I've never done this. Aaron and I are using a YouVersion plan for this and doing it together. I'm also going through the 21 day Made to Crave YouVersion plan with a friend. (I'm going to lump a few together for the sake of length) 7. Memorize Scripture and Fast. Fasting isn't something I've done much. Once or twice that I can remember I made an attempt to fast but didn't really understand the point of it. I plan on taking some time to study all the scripture I can related to fasting and then implement those principles in my life. Secondly, I need to memorize scripture. The bible study I'm doing, No Other Gods by Kelly Minter, she talks about the ULTRA subtle deceptions Satan uses to get us to believe lies. Those ultra subtle deceptions are true, but they are not Truth. And in order for us to realize that it's not Truth, we have to know what Truth is. Her point is that in order to recognize Satan's deceptions from a mile away, you've gotta know what's real to begin with. So, in an attempt to recognize those deceptions in my life, I need to know more of the Truth. So, my goal is to memorize a verse a week. I'm hoping to make a "Verse of the Week" board and put it up in the house and have the kids try and do this with me. It's never to early to hide Truth in their hearts either! So there ya have it. My 2013 goals. And actually that's not all of them, but that's all I'm comfortable sharing right now. There were some very high "highs" in 2012 and some very low "Lows", but I know that God's mercies are new every morning. My theme verses for this year is Ephesians 3:20-21... Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. This year I'm going to expect God to be God and do more than I could ever ask or imagine of Him. I'm going to expect the unexpected and believe that His plan and desires for me far surpass anything I could plan for myself!! Happy 2013!!!! |
HEY, I'M JESSICA!
Christian. Wife. Mommy. Daughter. Pastor. Friend. Saved.Redeemed. Beloved.
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