I wanted to do something a little special this week. With Valentine's Day on Thursday, I wanted to take the opportunity and talk about what love looks like in my life. My children, my husband, and today, my friends. And I've got some pretty great ones! There are so many people who have made significant marks on my life. Some of them I don't talk with much or at all anymore, but that doesn't change how their friendships have shaped me. Some of them are new friends I've only known for a few years or months, but knowing them has made me a better person. Today though, I wanted to take an opportunity and talk about my oldest and dearest friend. Ok, let me just start out by saying I'm going to hear it big time for posting that picture. But, oh well. It helps you understand the history.... This is Sarah. We met when we were 2 and 3 (she's older than me!). There isn't a significant memory in my life that doesn't include her. She's always been there. Literally. As far back as I can remember. Between the ages of 14-18, I saw her more than I saw my parents. We went to the same school. We went to the same church. We even went to the same college for a semester.
There's been weddings. N'Sync. Tubs of Ice cream. REALLY bad hair. Funerals. Car accidents. Treadmills. Babies. Concerts. Boyfriends. TP'ing. Frosty's. French fries. Husbands. Road Trips. And If I haven't covered all the bases, pretty much everything in between. She's my go to. And she also happens to live 300 miles away. We haven't lived in the same state in almost 10 years. But I'm blessed to have the type of friendship where we could have crazy busy weeks and not talk for 10 days or 2 weeks and it's still like we're sitting in a booth at Ram's Horn at midnight eating a brownie sundae. Nothing changes. We have walked a long road together, some of it filled with the happiest of times, some of it, not so much. We even weren't friends for a few months. But it didn't take us long to realize that we were David and Jonathan. God had blessed us with the type of friendship that has seemed to endure every phase of life so far. I know she'll see this so.... I'm so thankful for our friendship! I love you and appreciate you!! I encourage you to take some time this week and tell your friends how much you appreciate them! I know that typically Valentine's Day is more of a romantic holiday, but in reality, it celebrates love. All types of it! If God didn't create friendship to be important, he wouldn't have included so many examples of deep friendship in the Bible. Let them know today that you celebrate the friendship you have with them!!
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It's Monday, Monday, Monday! (sing that to the Rebecca Black tune, Friday) Now that I've been successful at getting the worlds most annoying song stuck in your head, it's time for the menu! Monday- Taco's Tuesday- Stuffed peppers. This is actually one of my favorite meals and I make it once every few months. For some reason I don't think of it often when I'm creating my menu. I use red and yellow pepper, since no one in our house likes green peppers. I cut them open lengthwise and lay them open and fill them with ground beef, rice, and cheese. Yummy. Wednesday- Stir fry. This was an Aaron request. We used to eat stir fry a lot, and for some reason, we don't now. So, Wednesday will be chicken stir fry. I usually make it instead of buying a bag mix. The sodium in those things are through the roof! Thursday- Pink Heart Pancakes!!! Aaron helped me plan this week's menu and we decided on Thursday we wanted to do something special with the girls. He suggested pancakes and I suggested making them pink and heart shaped. It will be so much fun! We'll do sausage and eggs with them as well. Friday- Homemade pizza! I'll keep some of the sausage from Thursday meal and crumble it onto the pizza. We'll have a movie night and enjoy each others company! Guys!!!! I'm getting my new furniture today!! We got our Fed tax return on Saturday so we're able to get it out of layaway! AND!!! After tomorrow, we'll be (consumer) debt free! We'll still have school loans, which we'll be paying until we retire I'm sure, and one other random debt that was more of a personal loan from friends. So, we'll start paying on that within the next few months. When we made our budget for March it felt weird not to include the things we're paying off. But, here's to saving!!! Alright, now it's time for the verse of the week. I figured that since it's Valentines week, I'd pick a verse that talks about God's love. I chose Lamentations 3:22-23. Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.- Lamentations 3:22-23 Have a great Monday!!
So last weekend for the Super Bowl, I made these mini trifle's and they were awesome! We had a friend come over and usually when he is over or he and his family, I try and make a trifle for dessert. It's just kind of a thing. So, I was determined not to let him down this time either! I found the idea on pinterest, here and decided to do my own "semi homemade" spin. I started with brownies that I made following the recipe on the original post. I chunked up a few Rolo's in the brownies before I baked them. When they were partially cool, I cut them into quarters, flipped them out on a plate and stuck them in the fridge to firm them up so I could crumble them easily. I was working on a bit of a time crunch. Then I got all my other ingredients together. I used regular whipped topping and caramel sauce. Also, I used an entire bag of Rolo's. I set 6 aside for toppings and cut the rest into quarters. A big shout out to my foil peeling assistants, Aaron and Emmy. They saved me tons of time! Once I had all my ingredients ready to build the trifle, I pulled out my mini trifle dishes. I used these because #1 it's easier to control portion, and #2 my mom has my regular size trifle dish in Michigan. Then you just start building the trifle. First I layered the bottom of the dish with whipped topping, then chunked up brownie pieces. Then I layered some of the cut up Rolo's, then topped with caramel sauce. Rinse, lather, repeat until the entire dish is full. Once the assembly is done, I topped it with a final spoonful of whipped topping, drizzled with caramel, and added the whole Rolo to the top. YUM!!! It was so good. And, honestly, it was so easy! Ta-Da!! It passed the trifle test with flying colors. I had enough to make a few extra for our neighbors and they loved them too! This is one of those dishes that looks to impress without leaking the secret of how easy it was to make. The hardest part was fixing the brownies from scratch. Had I had a box brownie mix on hand, it would have been even easier!
Count your blessings and have a great weekend! Today is one of those days where the hope I have for my future is overwhelming. If I could sit down and write a book about things I want to do, the places I want to go, the person I want to become, and the things I want for my family, it would be an epic tale. My desire is to have wisdom and influence. To have mastery of something- a hobby or skill. To experience places I can only dream about. To have children that behave at the most important times, a spirit that's a constant blessing to my husband, and a dream house that's beautifully decorated and always clean. And in the midst of all that dreaming, I'm reminded of my own ordinary mediocrity. I feel like I'll always be that fish that swims right in the middle of the bunch. Which fish? Exactly. The one you've never noticed. The one fish that looks like all the rest. These are times when I ask God for truth. I need to hear the truth louder than my own accusations of boring. And this is what I hear... I knew you before you were even born. I know how many hairs are on your head. I know these desires in your heart. I want to give you hope and a future. I want you to prosper. But... I also want you to live to please me. Seek out my heart and my will. Desire to become more like me. So, there's my truth. God knows what I want. He knows my desires. And he also knows what's best for me. He created me to be that little fish. If I trust him with my desires, and my dreams, and my plans He will give me a hope and a future. If I stop worrying about being wise and influential and become more like Him, it will be his impression I leave on people. If I commit my talents and abilities to him, I may not master a skill or hobby, but I will be useful for him. If I seek out his heart for others and his will for my life, he may lead me places I never expected to go in service to him. If I seek out his heart for my children, I will parent with love and extend grace to them even when they don't behave at the most important times and that Christ likeness will extend to my marriage. I may always be ordinary, but when God becomes my purpose, everything else just becomes a detail. picture credit, here.
I'm typing this blog post at 1:48 am. I've laid awake for 3 hours. At war. I finally got up and opened my journal and added narration to the battle. Here is a glimpse of it.... There is a battle I will fight for the rest of my life. A war within myself. The very walls of truth I've built around my heart to protect it suffocate the ache that I just can't let God heal. My head and my heart- they battle. My brain pleads with me to enter into that Holy of Holies and once again feel protected inside these walls instead of trapped by them. When is it enough?! My head knows it was enough the day that God formed me in my mother's womb. My heart feels dry and cold and distant and totally raw at the same time. Love. This desire to be loved. To be known. To be chosen. This desire takes hostage the most willing passerby as my own chains just grow tighter and tighter. My head yells the truth. You are enough. You are chosen. You are wanted. What can't that be good enough for you? Why can't you just package that up with a bow and pull it out when you need the reminder. And my heart sags under the weight of my own doings. The pain. The shame. The regret. The grief. It craves surrender. And then, God is there. As he always is and always will be- whispering his truth in the darkest of dark. All is quiet. There is peace. Rest. Blessed Assurance. Until next time. I wanted to post a song to go along with this blog post. I heard this song for the first time about 3 months ago. I was in a very dark place. I'd taken parts of myself and shut God totally out of them. I turned my back on him. And yet, there he was. This song has become my testimony. Every single word of it rings true for me and I'm so thankful that not for a single moment did or will God forsake me. I still can hardly listen to it without tearing up, which might be an issue as I'm going to have the opportunity to sing it at our church this Sunday. So, FPCC folks, remember this version as you listen to me stumble my way through it!
And please please please remember... whatever wars within you, whatever you battle, God will NEVER leave you. A few weeks ago when I brought up starting to memorize a verse a week, I mentioned that I decided the best place to do that was while I was in the bathroom. Even if it was just for 30 seconds, that was enough to read through the verse and help commit it to memory. Well, that worked for a little while. I had it saved in a note on my phone, but sometimes I would forget my phone, or I wasn't able to hold my phone while I was blow drying my hair, etc. So, I came up with this idea.... I wrote the verse on the mirror with a dry erase marker. That way it's always there. And I can look at it no matter what I'm doing. Plus, now it's up there for Aaron to read and for the girls to see. What a great way to start a discussion with my girls about memorizing bible verses! Anyways, this is just a thought. I know a lot of people aren't necessarily keen on having something like this on display for all the see, but for us, it works! Welcome Back to Definitely. Maybe. and Happy Monday! I took last week off from the blog so that I could focus on my kids. I love blogging and sharing with you all, but I never want it to be something that becomes more of a priority than it should be. I have big dreams for this blog and I hope that God will use it for his purpose and glory, but I know that God will make that happen, not Jessica. No amount of time I spend doing will advance this blog or make it better if God isn't in it. Last week I felt like He was saying I needed to step back. I was starting to move the blog higher on the priority list than it should have been and I needed to separate myself from it for a little bit to gain my Christlike perspective again. So, this week I'm back. And it's going to be a great week! Lots going on! Oh, and the beautiful picture is from here. Today is Menu Monday! I planned my menu last week and grocery shopped on Saturday night. I only planned through Saturday. My friend Brooke, over at Here's To You Mrs. Robinson has jumped into clean eating 100% (with exception of some girls scout cookies!) and gave me a few bags of groceries that they wouldn't be using anymore. Score!!! I used at least 1 thing she gave me in every meal this week! So here it is... Monday- Chick-fil-A copycat nuggets. This got bumped from last week's menu, so we'll do it tonight! Tuesday- Chili. True confession. I've NEVER made chili before. Not from scratch, so I'm going to try my hand at it. I'll report back next week so you know how it turned out. Wednesday- Chicken N Biscuits. This is a family favorite at our house. It's easy peasy and very yummy! Thursday- Tenderloins. I'd never had a tenderloin until I moved to Indiana. They just don't have them in Michigan. It didn't take me long to realize how much my husband loves them and how easy they are to make at home. I pound out pork tenderloins until they're thin, coat in seasoned flour and fry in oil. That's it. Serve on a bun with condiments and it's like the State Fair all year long! Friday- BBQ Chicken Pita Pizza. I made these 2 weeks ago and they were a hit. Super good. And the best part is that I made shredded BBQ chicken for our Super Bowl gathering last night. I have just enough left to pop into the freezer until Fri. Easy easy! Saturday- Homemade pizza. Saturday night will be our family night. Friday I've got plans, so we'll let the girls pick a movie and I'll make pizza and we'll have fun hanging out! So there ya have it. A pretty easy menu. And all things my kids will eat! Can't do better than that! Ok, so, the verse of the week this week is a pretty personal one. A little background on my selection....
Aaron and I filed our taxes over the weekend and I was having a little bit of anxiety about it. I was pretty concerned we would have to pay this year, and we DON'T have the money for that. About 2 weeks ago, I was praying about my anxiety about it and I decided that I would pray that God would not only provide what we needed, but exceed what we needed. I decided I was going to pray for a $6000 tax return. Based on our previous filings, that's pretty much unheard of for us. I knew I was shooting for the moon praying for that. But, I'm learning that God can do more than I can ask or imagine. So, anyways, we filed our taxes on Saturday, and seriously guys, I almost cried because we're actually getting a little over $6200 back (!!!!!!!). God's hand was all over that and it was totally undeniable. We were sitting in church yesterday and Aaron opened his Bible app on his phone and the verse of the day yesterday was.... "Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always. Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced."- I Chronicles 16:11-12 Aaron showed me the verse and we both couldn't help but smile and again, give God the total glory for doing more than we could ever have prayed for! So, I decided to make this the verse of the week because I need to have it burned in my heart. I need to remember that God is still the same God he was 2,000, 6,000, 10,000 years ago. He didn't put his power on the shelf. And He hears our prayers and knows the desires of our hearts. Man guys, God is so good! I hope that you all have a great week! We're already a month into 2013! I can't believe it! Have a great Monday!! |
HEY, I'M JESSICA!
Christian. Wife. Mommy. Daughter. Pastor. Friend. Saved.Redeemed. Beloved.
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