About a month ago I decided that if I wanted to be a certain type of person, I just needed to do the same things those certain types of people did. If I want to have a totally clean and organized house, then I just needed to stay on top of every dish and piece of laundry. If I wanted my children to behave in public then I needed to try all sorts of different forms of creative discipline. If I want to have effective and efficient workouts, I needed to be in the gym before 7 am every day. If I want to keep on top of my blog than I need to create planning charts and create a posting cache weeks in advance.
None of that stuff is bad. In fact, it's all great stuff. And there are people who do it very successfully. Those people are not me. At least not the whole list at once. I got into this mindset where I was thinking - ok, if I want to be this person, then I've just gotta do this stuff. But don't screw up. If you screw up you're not that person. And you shouldn't need to screw up if you just do this stuff. It's a ridiculously disappointing pattering of thinking. It's not healthy. It's not possible. And it's not Christlike.
So, here I sat feeling like a big heap of failure on the couch at 4 pm, drinking my 2nd cup of coffee hoping to stay awake through the rest of the afternoon. And in the middle of my self imposed falling shortness, I came across another blog*. The whole blog was full of awesome and witty quips about parenting. It was good enough that I shared it on my personal Facebook page. But what really stuck out to me was this line...
"...[A parent] Who asks God to help you to be a better version of the person that you actually are, not for more strength to be an ideal parent..."
What?! A better version of myself?! Myself is a cluttered, tired, falling behind mess! Why would I just want that all polished up? Because I'm created in God's image. Not the sin filled part, but the person part. The person God sees when he looks at me.
God didn't create us to wallow in laziness. But he also didn't create us to live in constant frustration. So, I've decided that there are 2 solutions to this problem. #1- Ask God to show me what the truth is. Who He sees me as. Not the mess, not the frustration, but his child that he loves. And once he shows me that, believing it. Not getting bogged down in my own feelings of unworthiness. And #2- make a plan. I've been trying to be more diligent about creating a weekly schedule. Every day, creating a schedule of what and when. I keep my calendar on my phone, but that doesn't always help me. Spending a little time being more prepared. I read a quote yesterday that was like a "Yes! Thank You!" type thing...
The best preparation for tomorrow is the right use of today.- Unknown
Maybe you've been feeling frustrated and overwhelmed too. You're not alone. I think more people feel that way than would admit. Especially the folks we assume have it all together. Please remember that God doesn't look at you and see your mess, or your missed workouts, or your *feeling* of failure at parenting your children. He sees his child. One he loves more than we could ever understand. Don't get caught up in the lies I have been getting caught up in- that my worth and value is in the cleanliness quotient of my house or the number of workouts I get in during a week. Embrace a some of that freedom, take a minute to breathe, and then create a plan that will lessen your stress!
Have A Great Friday!