I know today is supposed to be My Favorites Friday, but when I woke up this morning, my emotional energy was already spent. I couldn't seem to form a complete thought, let alone write a whole blog post about 5 great things that have happened this week. Has there been 5 great things this week? Of course, and who knows, maybe by the end of the day I'll have the My Favorites post written, but right now there are bigger things on my mind. In the spirit of honest and transperency I value on this blog, I'm going to lay it out there. This is going to me a little more personal than normal, but I wanted it to get put down on [paper].
Today has not been good. I've struggled with God all day. I'm scared God, do you see us? Why is this happening? DO SOMETHING! Have you ever been at the point when you're just out of things to pray? There's just nothing else to be said really. Have you ever sat down intent on hearing God's voice and instead, heard nothing? Or birds chirping. Or horns blaring. Or your air conditioning running. Have you ever felt like you're sitting at the bottom of a dried up well? You can't go down any farther but you certainly can't get up either. If you're like me, your emotions are running wild. You cry, you get angry, you've got no patience with your children, your husband is the easiest target for your frustration. You want to eat about 15 duplex cookies. Not because they're good, but because they're there. You're just a big emotional, frustrated, tired, overwhelmed mess. On days like today, in situations like ours, on paths like this, there's only one thing I can ask from God. Truth. I need your Truth. I'm scared God, do you see us? El Roi- God is the God who sees. Alright, I'm giving it to you. Why is this happening? El Shaddai- God is All Sufficient. Alright, Your will be done. DO SOMETHING! El Gibbor- God is a Mighty God. Alright, I'm trusting you. Dear God, El Roi, El Shaddai, El Gibbor, Thank you for seeing me. Thank you for being enough for me. Thank you for being my Mighty God. Open my eyes to your truth. Open my eyes so I can see you today. I pray that your will would be done in my life. I'm tired, I'm scared, I'm hurting, I feel wrung out like a sponge, but I pray that you would empty me of anything that would keep me from being filled with you. Thank You for loving me.
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HEY, I'M JESSICA!
Christian. Wife. Mommy. Daughter. Pastor. Friend. Saved.Redeemed. Beloved.
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