I'm learning a big lesson right now. It's kind of two fold. I'm pretty sure there will ALWAYS be opportunity for God to teach me lessons on patience. It's a virtue I lack. I feel as if it's a strand of my DNA that is missing or something. I am just not a patient person. I want to run when I should walk. I want to walk when I should crawl. And standing still is nearly unheard of. Almost impossible.
I'm learning about not rushing the Holy Spirit. My parents started attending church when I was 2. I asked Jesus into my heart when I was 5. I was in the Church every time the doors were open. I was there even when they weren't because both of my parents had keys to the building. One of my favorite games to play as a child was Church secretary. My parents were both very involved in our Church ministries. They set an example that I started following at an early age. Ministry and being involved in ministries is as much a part of my DNA as patience is not.
I have a hard time sitting in a pew. I have a hard time being a spectator. I have a hard time not feeling used in ways that exercise my talents and abilities best. God gave me a calling- a purpose- and when I don't feel like I'm fulfilling that calling, I get restless. When Aaron and I came to the realization that we needed to focus our time and energy on healing our marriage, we stepped back from most of the ministries we were involved in. It was the absolute right decision for us. We were not giving each other, our children, or our ministries the best of us. Something had to give, and if we'd continued in ministry, it would have been our marriage. Now that we're on the road to healing, and God has proven himself faithful to us as we learn to love each other again in a Christlike way, I'm getting to the point where I'm feeling restless. It's time for me to crawl and I just want to walk. Quickly.
I know that what Aaron and I have been through is something that God is going to use. When God redeems, He redeems. He will use our story and I pray that other people will hear it and can experience the same redemption that we have- personally and in their marriage. BUT. I can't rush that. I need to turn off my voice that's telling me to run headlong into that and make sure that I'm listening to the direction of the Holy Spirit.
God could have created the universe and everything in it with one word, but he took 6 days. God could have created the ark for Noah in a minute, but it took Noah over 100 years of work. David was anointed by Samuel as king years before he actually became king. The world waited for a Messiah for thousands of years. Jesus wasn't born and immediately died for our sins, he waited and grew a ministry.
Insert lesson on patience.
The point? Even though we know there is a plan and a purpose, we have to be ready to carry out that plan and purpose. Running when we should walk, and even walking when we shouldn't be going anywhere can do more harm than good. Rushing the work of the Holy Spirit in ourselves and trying to force that on others can have the opposite effect of what God intended. As much as I want God to use me and use our story, I want it to be in the way he intended it.
Is there something that you're rushing today? Try and figure out if the voice you're hearing is your voice of impatience or actually the leading of the Holy Spirit. Rushing the hand of God in your life and in others lives can do more harm than good! Trust in God's timing even if it means you wait!