First of all, I want to take a minute to thank you all so much for your love and support. My last post was my most viewed post of all time. Either that means y'all like other people's drama or we just have lots of folks who love and care about us. I know it's the latter. We've received so many messages of encouragement, and we truly appreciate them. Ok, now on to the important stuff! It's going to be 65 degrees in Indy today. 65 DEGREES! I was losing hope that it was possible. Although, we are supposed to get snow tomorrow, but hey, let's just live in the current 65 degree moment. I'm so thinking spring. I'm ready. I know most folks are ready. This winter was brutal. I'm not doing any spring decorating because we're going to start packing and that's a bit counterproductive. I never posted a picture of my Valentine's Mantle because, well, it was a tad sub par and incomplete. Cute, but perhaps not blog post worthy. I kind of threw things together and included a few DIY projects that didn't quite turn out how I'd hoped and I wanted to add more and never got around to it. But, alas, I don't want to cheat you out the experience of viewing the mantle, so... here it is. And yes, I took this picture this morning because it's all still up. Alright, so now that that's over with, let's get on with things. SPRING! It's right around the corner and I'm so ready. I love watching trees bloom and flower blossom. The grass turning green. It's all spectacular and such a reminder of the newness that comes with the changing of seasons. A perfect picture of God's grace. Since I wont' be doing much spring decorating of my own, I figured that I'd share a few of the my favorite spring decorations from other blogs. I'm LOVING this wreath from 320 Sycamore! Very fun! I love lemons and this is perfect for spring and a classy addition to your front door. And it seems easy enough to make. How cute are the DIY mason jar candle holders from FellowFellow?! If I was doing a spring mantle, I'd include something like this! This vintage inspired spring mantle from Home Stories A to Z is breathtaking. I wish I had the space to create a mantle like this! The cool colors are calming and it represents Spring so well. This centerpiece from Hymns & Verses is brilliant. And stunning. It would be the perfect centerpiece for any spring event or just your coffee table. I think it would be pretty with Lilies of the Valley for Easter as well. Are you in the mood for spring decorating?! I know I am. If you're enjoying the warm weather today and preparing for snow tomorrow just remember, this too shall pass! Spring is coming!
Happy Tuesday!
2 Comments
This is one of those posts I'm not exactly positive how to start. I've been praying about it and lots of things have come to mind, it's just a matter of ordering my thoughts. Please hang with me, it might be a bit long.
On Saturday, Aaron and I found out that the local leaders of our denomination had decided not to renew Aaron's license as a pastor in the church. There's lots of technical stuff that I won't bore you with, but basically he was given the choice to start the 4 yr ordination licensing process over again for the 3rd time (you can read a little bit about that here, here, here, andhere.) or do nothing. After much prayer and discussion, we've decided that we'll be stepping away from ministry all together and not starting the licensing process over at this time. We've purposed to be intentional in praying for God's will in our life. We've been praying that God would open and close doors for us, whether that be in ministry, for moving, for our girls, for pretty much everything. Our desire is that God's will is accomplished in and through our lives. But, we've been praying this within the scope of our daily lives. We knew that we're coming up on big decisions about moving, and Emmy starting school, and we've been praying for God to lead us into a (non bivocational) full time ministry position. When we prayed for God to open and close doors in ministry, we never dreamed that it would be moving us out of ministry completely. I must admit that over the last few days I've swung on the pendulum of emotion. I've been angry, and sad, and felt betrayed. I've grieved for my husband, and I've grieved for our vocational ministry. But, I've also rejoiced in the fact that I trust in a God who has plans to prosper us and not to harm us. As we sat down to sort through all of our emotions and refocus our prayers, an over arching theme started to present itself to us- freedom. Not freedom in the sense of we're escaping from something bad, but that for the first time since we've been married, we're not tied to a full time ministry position or the requirements of ordination in the church. We don't have to be here or there for any specific purpose unless the Lord leads us. And right now, that "freedom" has lead us to the decision to relocate. We knew that we were moving anyways, but now our scope is just currently a little different. We're working on a very fast timeline, about 70ish days, but we're hoping to make a move in late May up to northern Indiana/northwest Ohio. It's something that we've talked about for a very long time, but until now, we've been tied to our obligations here through church. It hasn't been an easy decision though, as it would be moving away from what we've known. Living here in Indy is all my girls know. We have family here, we love the church we attend. The members have become extended family. And it's hard making a move to what seems to be nothing. No friends, no church, right now no job, no home. But we know that God is faithful. We've learned by now that our ways are not God's ways, so we're confident in the fact that if this change doesn't happen in "our" timeline, remaining here in Indy is ok too- it's our work in progress plan B. And we know that God is not done with us. As we were laying in bed a few nights ago, Aaron knew I was battling sadness and frustration. He grabbed my hand and reminded me that ministry isn't limited to a full time position. It isn't a title that someone has. It's an attitude of the heart. And we can do it anywhere, at any time. I know that. In my heart of hearts I know that. But, it doesn't change the little bit of a painful ache I have over knowing that right now, our life in full time (bi)vocational ministry is on hold indefinitely. But, I know the calling that God has placed on our lives. I know and experience daily the passion Aaron has for teenagers coming to know the Lord. I trust God's character. Even right now when I feel broken and we're being emptied. Because I know that God is working all things together for his good. For his purposes. We would appreciate your prayers during this time of transition. We'd appreciate understanding in our moments of grief. We hope that you can rejoice with us as we start this new chapter of our lives. I'll be blogging as I can and want to be able to continue to share how God's revealing himself to us. I love you guys and pray for you daily. Thank you for all the love and support you've given over the last 2 years! Months ago, my Pastor, said something during one of his messages that instantly struck me. In fact, on the way home from church I created a pin with the phrase. But, at the time it was one of those phrases that seemed wise and insightful, but it didn't necessarily apply to my life. Now, 8 months later, it's a phrase that's defining my life. But we'll come back to that. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.- Romans 8:28 NLT I don't feel much purpose right now. I'm a wife. A mother. Sometimes I'm a blogger. There is purpose in that. Endless purpose. But I know that God has also given me gifts and talents that are to be used outside my home and this computer screen. I know my calling. But right now, my calling feels like a deflated balloon. To refrain from being too cliche, purpose is the wind to the callings' sail and this ship is heading nowhere fast. But the truth remains. However far away I feel from my purpose, I know that the things God is leading me to and through, and away from are not meant to hurt me. Does this mean I won't feel pain? No, absolutely not. But they will not lead me to ruin. There's a difference. Pain and ruin are two very different things. And some days I forget that. The disciples thought God led Jesus to ruin by leading him to death on the cross. But, God proved otherwise. Jesus' pain didn't lead to ruin, it led to life. Now back to that phrase... The selfish side of me is tired of giving. I'm tired of giving the things God is asking for. I'm tired of walking face first into the doors he's closed. But then I'm reminded of the fact that this is what I prayed for. I prayed to become more like Christ. I've prayed to become the reflection of Jesus. That means giving. That means trusting even when things don't make sense. That means knowing that God works things together for good because he loves me. The doors he's closing, the things he's taking, the empty places he's leaving behind-
They really ARE meant to make me more like him. They really ARE meant to lead me farther down the path towards good. They really ARE meant to fill me with his purposes. They really ARE meant to lead me toward life. If you are like me, you confuse pain with ruin but you might also confuse emptiness with nothingness. Doors closing, paths changing, forking, losing what's important to you- that's not nothingness. That's emptiness. That's not ruin. That's God making room for more of himself. We have to be empty before we can be filled with His purpose. Our purposes may seem good, and right, and righteous, and valiant. And that's why losing them can be so hard. But this is when I trust that losing what I hold onto means that God is bringing about his best. Even if that means pain. Even if it means having empty hands. So, right now, I'm learning to be thankful for pain. For emptiness. Because God is not leading me to nothingness and ruin. He's leading me to purpose and life. Hopefully, in 60 years I'll be sitting on my (wrap around) front porch rocking on my rocker, reflecting on my walk with the Lord and I'll think of this time in my life as when God pulled the plug on the drain of my purposes. And I'm confident in the fact that it will be a pleasant thought. Yes, I might remember the pain, but I'll be quickly blinded by the memories of good as well. I'm remember the emptiness, but immediately recall being filled with his purpose. I'm excited for that day. |
HEY, I'M JESSICA!
Christian. Wife. Mommy. Daughter. Pastor. Friend. Saved.Redeemed. Beloved.
Archives
August 2021
Categories
All
|