It's finally fall. This blog post feels a little like pulling  your favorite comfortable sweater out of it's summer storage. You're immediately reminded of the good times you had in that sweater last season- the times it kept you cozy while enjoying a good book and a cup of coffee or when it was a security blanket on that new adventure- the comfortable familiar in the unexpected. That's this blog- it's my comfortable, warm, familiar sweater. 

Eventually, the hope is to be able to move onto podcasting in the near future. Let's be honest- talking is a lot easier than typing. Less filter. Less edit. I can get more out in a shorter period of time. And that's what today's post is about- splitting open and letting it out. Today's post is more of a journaling experiment then creating content for a reader, so if that's your deal, read on. 

My last blog post was over 3 years ago. That's unreal. It's seems like yesterday and another lifetime. I've lived a lifetime in those 3 years. And along that road I've become angry, cynical, restless. I'm in a season of wrestling. I'm at a crossroads and it's time to make a decision.

I love the mountains. If you've followed this blog for any length of time or have known me for any length of time, you are familiar with my story. My story resembles a long chain of mountains. The highest highs and the lowest lows. At the beginning there were hills and when I was there I thought- uh oh, mountains. But the truth is, there were much higher highs and much lower lows ahead. It has been those lows that have made me think- Is this it, God? Is this you fulfilling your promises? Is this all there is? Is it supposed to end up like this? 

I wasn't planning it like this, God. 

For a while, these thoughts swirled but I pushed them down. It's like the brewing of a storm when the winds start to pick up and you think- oh, a breeze is nice. You know full well what's ahead, but for the time being you can accept the wind as a nice change of pace. The winds kept blowing and I charted them as doubt, fear- things good Christian girls like me overcome, at at least stuff down. Disappointments, unanswered prayers, deepest desires going unfulfilled- the winds kept picking up. Over the last month, the winds have stopped being a gentle breeze. The storm has arrived and I'm standing in a the middle of a hurricane of frustration with God. 

Things were supposed to be different, God! 

You were supposed to heal him, God!

I thought you are for us, God? This definitely feels like against us. 

I've asked and imagined, God, where is the exceedingly more? 

I decided it was probably time to do something about this storm- throw in the towel, let it rage and swallow me whole or face it head on. To stare it down. But, what does that look like? It meant it was time to set aside that anger, cynicism and frustration and face God. It was time to open my bible and demand answers. To journal, to weep, the split open and let out what's been stuffed down. And truthfully, to own my part. To look in the mirror and face the truth. 

Two days ago, as I was standing in the choir at church, again wrestling with my doubts, with God, and with the words of the song we were singing, God spoke. It was as if a flip book played out in my mind. God was recalling all of the good and bad that has happened over the last year. All of the small ways He has provided, and loved, and showed up. In an instant I relived all the pain, hurt and anger. And then I saw Jesus hanging on the cross and God said- is this enough? 

Am I Enough? If I never answered your prayers how you want, if your life's plans never came to completion, if people die when they shouldn't and you don't want them to, even if I never make sense- Am I enough? Is having me enough?

Here's the thing with wrestling, there comes a point when your opponent pins you to the mat. You fight that with everything in you. You want the upper hand. You want to win. You struggle and fight for freedom against that pin. It's rarely an instant surrender.

And now, God has me pinned. He's pinned me down with the truth of his words to me. I'm faced with a  decision-  to fight that with everything in me, to continue to struggle for how I want things to be because it's what I think is best. Or does God win? Do I surrender to the fact that God was never supposed to make sense to me because I literally can't make sense of who God is? My limited physical brain can't comprehend. Do I trust that God is really who he says he is, even if it doesn't feel like it? Even when it hurts, even when it makes me angry or frustrates me. Do I face my selfishness and my pride?

I understand now why Jacob had a broken hip when he wrestled with God. I feel like I'm being broken and the scars of this wrestling match will stick with me forever. And for me, that looks like surrender- to give up my will to win this match. To hear the count, and accept that I may never make sense of pain, hurt, frustration, and anger on this side of Heaven. But that's okay because God is enough. ​

 Today I've been thinking a lot about trees. 

Yes, that's right. Trees. 

A few weeks ago, here in Northern Indiana, we had a warm couple of days. My trees loved it. They filled with buds and their carpet of grass turned a deep emerald shade of green. 

And then, as Indiana usually does in April, it got cold. And it even snowed. Evil. But ya know, the funny thing about those trees, they are still producing more buds. In fact, even with the cold, I have one tree that looks like it's about to bust with new leaves. 

Over the last day or so I've been challenged with the fact that I've gotten lost in the doing of ministry and set aside the why. Do I want to reach out to people because I desire their wholeness in Christ or just because I want to help them? Just because want to share my story? My answers to those questions have laid me open a little bit. 

I know. You're thinking... what exactly does that have to do with trees? Well, I'll tell you. 

A tree is a tree. It does what God designed it to do by taking water through it's roots, using sunlight to nourish itself, and produce it's vegetation in due time. And by silently doing the things it's intended to do, it gives us humans oxygen, shade, shelter, and food. It provides home for thousands of other living
crawl-y climb-y things. In my yard, one tree happens to be the home to a gigantic ant colony. And just by doing and being what God created it to, it can be used in a thousand different ways. 

The same is true for me and you. When we plant our roots deep into scripture and use the Holy Spirit to nurture us, when we stand tall and strong, and live out our purpose- becoming more like Jesus, God can use us for a multitude of other things. A tree can't bypass it's original intention to become a 2x4. It has to be a tree first. Just as we can't bypass knowing God, knowing his character, love, and grace.

Here's the thing- all that tree knows is that it's supposed to suck in that water, soak up the sun, and grow some stuff. It doesn't know that it's got to have some birds nests, or house ant colonies, or turn into my kitchen table. It just does what it knows to do. 

And that's what we need to do. We need to know Jesus. We need to become more like him, to imitate him more and more with every thought, word, and action. If we do these things, God will use us to fulfill his purposes in ways we never even imagined. 

Are you trying to be someone or something you're not intended to be? Are you doing what you need to do- learning to be more like Jesus every day? I know I haven't been. I've been trying to be a 2x4 and not a tree. Let today be the day that we go back to our intended purpose. Let's open our Bibles and read with the intention of knowing God. Let's pray with the intention of being in relationship with Him. And that's it.

​Happy Wednesday! 

I haven't forgotten. I'm still here. 

Things are just different now. 

I'm trying to purpose my life around Christlike quality instead of selfish quantity. 

I've known for a few years now that I'm truly the most selfish person I know. Probably because I know me best. But still, selfish all the same. It clouds my vision. I have viewed my marriage, my kids, my calling, my ministry through that cloud. 

And then one day I decided I was sick of myself. So I asked God to teach me humility. 

​Don't do that.

​Unless you really want it. Because ask and ye shall receive. 

It feels like I jumped the fast train to humble town. And not in a good way. 

I feel exposed. My ugly is showing. 

They don't make Spanx for selfishness. I can't tuck that mess in anymore. You don't reshape it into something else more attractive looking. 

But.

I've learned again that God is gentle. And that he is for me. He WANTS me to become like Him. The pain- I've caused it. Not God. He's not ashamed of me, or mad at me. He's jealous for me. ME. The hot mess, Spanx free, ugliness hangin' out, me. 

And suddenly, that becomes enough. That means more than any thoughtfully crafted blog post that everyone loves. That means more than needing attention for affirmation. That means more than performing for approval. 

It means more. Because it is more. 

Those other things, they never satisfy. When I perform or seek or strive- I just need it more. I always need to do more or be more. But when God becomes enough, I can be still. I can stop striving. I can stand there with my mess hanging out. I can stop chasing. And then there it is. Quality over quantity. My single most desire is for God, and only God. Not heaps of applause or praise. Not recognition. No pats on the back. 

Just God. And me. Without my Spanx. 

I pray this for you too. It's uncomfortable. It's hard. It's certainly isn't fun. And it may not look the best. But, it's worth it. 

Aaron and I have been married 8 years today. When I thought about what I wanted to write about in this blog post, I thought about the road we've walked the last 8 years. Figuring out marriage, figuring out ourselves, learning more about God. Kids, ministry, jobs. Hurt, betrayal, loss. I wanted to type something that was touching and God ordained and useful. But no words would come. It was like I had writers block. I've shared our testimony and told our story on the blog before. Many readers have even walked that road with us or you've heard us speak about it. But, even though God is continually healing us and has redeemed our marriage in a mighty way, I don't feel like those mountain tops are an accurate depiction of exactly what life is like for us. 

Our life is... normal. It's boring. It's funny. It's stressful. It's familiar. It's stretching. It's peaceful. 

The sun rises and the sun sets and ordinary days go by where I hardly notice the years passing. But each day is an ordinary day filled with a divine blessing. A day filled with a gift that's just for me. Days when we get to wash the dishes together or we curl up on the couch to watch Netflix. Days where we just can't work out that one issue and we feel frustrated beyond belief. Days where I want to nail his socks to the floor instead of pick them up. Days when I think "I can't believe I get to spend the rest of my life with this man". Days when I think "I can't believe I have to spend the rest of my life with this man".  

We're cheesy. We're a little loud. We laugh a lot. We both like the last word. He bites his nails. I interrupt. We both require lots of grace every day. But we are good and strong. We are mundane and ordinary. We are divinely blessed.

I am divinely blessed.

Recently, I was flipping through a magazine and I saw a picture of a perfectly styled kitchen and I thought to myself "I love that, but I could never have that". There were these beautiful glass canisters in the middle of the perfectly distressed wood island. I pictured in my mind all the little hands that would be clawing at those canisters every single day. I pictured them crashing to the floor and me getting upset and saying, "This is why we can't have nice things!" And in an instant, I recognized a tiny seed of bitterness that had planted itself somewhere in my heart. Graciously, the Lord spoke to me in that moment and this is what he said...

"Jessica, it's not your season."

Man. How many times have I tried to live in the wrong season? How many times have I wished that Emerson could be just a little more independent? How many times I have whined inwardly when Macie asked me to help her turn the water on in the bathroom because she can't reach it? How many nights have I cried out to God, "Please! Just let Levi sleep! I need sleep too!"? Too many times. 

But the truth is that right now, that's not my life. Soon enough Emerson will be driving herself to school and I'll help my baby girl pack up her stuff and move off to college. Soon enough Macie won't need me to do much of anything for her and she'll let me know that. Soon enough Levi will be coming in at his curfew and not give a second thought to needing me in the middle of the night. I'll have a beautifully decorated house with all the glass pretties I can find. And that's how it should be. In that season. 

If I've learned anything in my short 32 years of life, it's that when we chase the future, or a different place, or a different person, we miss out what God has for us today. We miss the beauty of THIS season.

I would miss that quick backward glance Emmy gives me before she walks into school, making sure I haven't pulled away yet and wanting an extra wave. I would miss Macie's sweet voice singing hand washing songs at the sink and making faces in the mirror. I would miss Levi's sweet smiles and more opportunity to pray over him in the dark night. I would miss ministering to my children in the place that God has called me to right now. I would miss the fulfillment of God's presence in this day. I  would miss God shaping me and molding me in the way that only this time in my life can. 

Imagine if Michelangelo had decided that he was bored with one section of the Sistine Chapel ceiling, left it undone, and moved onto the next part. It certainly would not be the masterpiece we consider it to be today. I'm sure it was tedious. I'm sure it was exhausting.  He made mistakes. He changed his original plan. I'm sure he even thought about quitting, but he didn't. He persisted.  

If your season is that of change, be brave. Trust God and step into it.

If your season is waiting, take a breath and ask God to fill your waiting space with his presence.

If your season is spit up, diapers, toys, and no sleep, ask God to open your heart and fill it will each day. Ask him to write these times in your memory, because you won't get a second chance at them.

If your season is emptiness, ask God to reveal a new purpose. Search out a way to fill someone else's life.

If your season is pain, embrace it. Feel it. Let God shape you through it so that you enter your next season ready.

Embrace this season. Live in it. Make it all that you can. Because one day you'll look back and realize that all those times of persistence created a beautiful masterpiece. There might be side steps, and uncertainty, mess ups, plan B's, and second chances, but all of those things and more weave together in God's plan- His seasons- for your life. ​

I've been sitting here staring at the computer trying to think about how to start this post. I'm definitely rusty at this whole blogging thing. Aaron asked me if I didn't know what to write. I said no. I'm just not sure how to start the post. He suggested "... Four Score and 7 years ago..." I laughed and I suppose it's pretty accurate. To say that I took a "break" from blogging is a bit of an understatement. I've been feeling for a few weeks that I should get back at it, and I've had multiple moments where I think... Man! I should blog about that! It feels good to be back. Even if I did have to figure out how to use my host site again. 

When Lent started I decided to go through a reading plan on my Bible app on my phone. A few days in was the topic of covenant. The passage was Genesis 15. You may be familiar with this passage, it's when God makes a covenant with Abraham. This is after God promises to make Abraham the father of a great nation. Years later, Abraham still has no children. He's thinking that God might be a little crazy, so he questions God. (Sound familiar, eh?) God asks Abraham to bring him a heifer, a ram, a dove, and a pigeon. Abraham does as God asks and cuts the heifer and ram in half and sets the halves facing each other a distance apart. 

Ok, so I know by now you're thinking... this girl is crazy! Welcome back blog posts and we're talking about chopped up animals?! Well, stick with me. Abraham does this because this was the typical way people made a covenant with each other. In historical context, a covenant was more than a promise. A covenant was something you didn't go back on. And they made a covenant with each other by splitting an animal in half and each walking through the space in between the halves. Once this was done, the covenant was set. It symbolized that if the covenant was not upheld, they would offer their life in the same manner as the animal. 

Alright, back to our scripture. Abraham arranges the animals, and once he does this God causes him to fall into a deep sleep. Basically, in the dream God explains to Abraham the path of his ancestors. Then, God presents himself to Abraham as a torch and fire pot. He passes through the animals making a covenant with Abraham. Yeah yeah, ok, so what. Well, here's the kicker... God doesn't require Abraham to pass through the animal pieces. Only he does. 

WHAT?!?! 

Ok, now you think I've really lost my mind. Animal pieces, a torch, a dream. I know, kinda of crazy sounding but here it is...

In God's graceful love towards us, He covenants with us.  BUT, he does not require us to covenant with him. He doesn't require it because he understands our human condition. He knows that we will question. We will whine. We will stray. He knows that the sin that's bound up in us will always keep us from being able to fulfill the demands of such a covenant. He hung on that cross, he offered himself, he took our punishment on himself because he loves us. He took our punishment of breaking a covenant on himself. 

Maybe this is still all a little muddled to you. I know I've read this passage at least a dozen times and never realized any of this. I never realized the significance of God not making Abraham pass through the animal. (In fact, I think I was probably always disturbed by the idea of walking through a chopped in half animal). But, it's actually quite plain. God has made a covenant with you to love you, to guide you, to never leave you or forsake you. He made a deal. And he entered that deal with us knowing that we wouldn't keep up our end. But he did it any way. Because he loves us. More than anything. 

I was laying down with my 3 yr old this afternoon, pretending to sleep,  when I realized how behind I am. Usually, by this point in 2014 (ahem... the last day of the year) I'm more on the ball with what's ahead. I have a theme verse picked out, I have a theme word, and a few goals listed. It has crossed my mind a few times and quickly put in it's place -behind a gazillion other things. Excuses are easy- Baby #3 is coming literally any day, we've been battling the never ending sickness monsters named flu and pneumonia at our house. And along with the festivities of Christmas that have firmly taken their place at the forefront of my mind, goals and themes would just have to wait. But, this afternoon, in the silence, my mind seemed to clear for a minute and suddenly a few thoughts seemed to take shape. 

2014 was a year of transition for our family. We started out the year with a blank canvas. We decided that our life could be what we make it. We started praying for God's will and learned a quick lesson- sometimes God's will isn't writing on the wall. Sometimes God's will is trusting and taking a step without that writing on the wall. And that's exactly what we did. We picked up, moved 200 miles away from where were were living, were shocked to find out we were having surprise baby #3, and we set aside hurt, fear, and bitterness and we embraced and were embraced by some of the most loving people we've ever met. It's been a banner year in my opinion. Free of struggle? Absolutely not. But that's honestly made it all the better. 

My Happy New Year post from last year outlined my theme word for the year, FOCUS, and my theme verse Philippians 1:10. You can read that posthere. It truly was a year of FOCUS for me. The Lord made a stream in the desert for Aaron and I by restoring our ministry. He started revealing part of my calling I'd been questioning for years and I'm now a licensed pastor in the Church of the Nazarene pursing a ministry in Discipleship and Teaching. He's given me the opportunity to FOCUS on being intentional with my life. 2013 was a year of restoration and 2014 was a year of focus.

2015 will be about THRIVING. This year I want to thrive as a wife, mother, friend, daughter, pastor, and leader. I want to thrive spiritually. I want to know God more than I've ever known him. I want to hunger for his presence and I want my prayer life to grow and deepen. I want to take the empty spaces in my life and fill them with God's love for others. I want to help plant roots of Christ likeness and holiness deeper in my own self, my family, and those I have the opportunity to love and minister to. 

I've chosen Psalm 1:2-3 as my theme verse for the year- 

I want this year to be about growing where I'm planted. I want to delight in scripture, I want to bear exceptional fruit in this season of my life. I want my spiritual life to prosper. 

It's easy to think about new years resolutions and goals, but this time, consider what the Lord might be asking of you. Maybe this year instead of doing something, he's asking you to NOT do something. Maybe this year he's asking you to go somewhere instead of committing to making or breaking a habit. Maybe he's asking you to do nothing- to be still- to listen. Be intentional in deciding what you want to commit yourself to this year. God never promises things to be easy, but He always promises himself, and that my friend, is more than enough for 2015!

Happy New Year! 

As I've had time to process the events of Sunday, which you can read about here, God has used the situation to impress a few truths on my heart and I wanted to share them with you today....

When I was growing up, and until recently actually, I thought God was an all or nothing God. I thought that he expected perfection from me and when I failed, he was beyond disappointed with me and looked at me with disgust. I related to him in that way. I felt that I was constantly letting him down and I would never be good enough for him to love me. Thankfully, I've learned a few things about God, his character, and his grace. But, today, I had a bit of a realization... 

When I realized that Emerson was going under the water Sunday afternoon, and I was far enough away that I couldn't reach her, I was DESPERATE.  There wasn't much of a limit to what I would have done to get her out of that water. There was an instant rush of instinct that shot through me that made me almost crazy with the need to rescue her. Seeing her little hands reached up into the air grabbing for anything to help her, trying to keep her head up so she could breathe was honestly the most heartbreaking thing I've ever experienced. Knowing that she was in distress, knowing that she needed me in that instant, was overwhelming. It took my breath away. When I was laying in bed with her last night she told me, "Mommy, I just kept trying to push myself up so I could see you". In her fear, she was trying to keep her eyes on me. She was trying desperately to know that I saw her, that I was coming for her. 

How I felt yesterday is a minor fraction about how God feels about us. I wasn't standing on the beach thinking Oh Emerson, if  you would have just made the right choice and stayed closer to shore, or, Emerson, you disobeyed my words, shame on you, fix your problem.  NO WAY! I was thinking... I need to get to my child! I have to save my baby! 

That's what God thinks about us. God is desperate for us. He's desperate to reach us! He's desperate to save us!

In our sin, we are exactly like Emerson was yesterday- head going under, holding our breathe, reaching up hoping someone will come for us. She didn't know she was in danger until it was too late. We run headlong into our sin because it looks fun or appealing. Emmy just wanted to play with the big kids, she didn't realize the danger she was walking herself into. And we get out there too deep, we get stuck and suddenly we're trying to push ourselves up just to see help. Just to try and keep our heads above water long enough, in hopes that someone will save us. 

Luke 19:10 says- For the Son of Man came to SEEK and to SAVE that which was lost. 

It doesn't say that Jesus came to stand by and tell us how bad we are because of our sin and shame us for our bad choices, and that we have to fix our problem. Jesus came to SEEK us out. He came to SAVE us. He's desperately loving you, he's coming for you, to pull you up out of the water. He's rushing for you to save you from going under! 

I wish you could feel my heart in this, the heart of a mother who was almost looking death in the face. The heart of a mother who was mere seconds from losing her child. The heart of a person who got a tiny tiny tiny glimpse at the heart of God- his desperation for us. His jealousy for our hearts. 

God loves you. God loves you. God loves you. 

And not only does he love you-  he's coming to you. He's reaching out to you. He wants to pull you into the safety of his arms, out of the danger of death. Will you let him do that today? I'm praying that if you don't know how deeply God loves you, that today you will experience even a tiny fraction of the fullness and protection of his love. Because it will blow you away. If I can help you with this in any way, please send me a message or email me. I would love to talk more with you about how much God loves you, how he wants to rescue you. Find a friend, contact a pastor, someone you trust that can help you with this. Because this will change your life! 

Happy Tuesday! 

When Emerson was a baby, she slept in a pack-n-play next to my side of the bed. At night, I would lay in bed just watching her breathe. I had a deep gripping fear of falling asleep and not being able to help her if something happened. I think I lost more sleep from staying awake out of a fear than I did from her waking through the night. Finally, I got to the point where I would pray a simple prayer every night, sometimes a few times a night, and without fail, I would almost immediately fall asleep at peace. I would pray...

Lord, I know that Emerson is a gift you've given me for only a short time on this earth. She is yours, and I give her back to you. You know my fears and I give those to you as well. Help me to sleep in peace. Amen. 

Eventually, as Emmy got older, I had less and less fear about something happening to her in the night and I stopped praying that prayer. But yesterday, I was reminded in an instant that Emerson's life is in God's hands, and she is but a fleeting gift to Aaron and I on this earth. I hope fleeting is a long healthy 90 years, but yesterday it almost wasn't.

Yesterday afternoon we joined some friends at the beach. The girls love to swim and dig in the sand for shells.  The beach was mildly crowded and the kids were playing as usual when Emmy decided that she wanted to go with the big kids out a little deeper. We'd been calling to the big kids all afternoon to come back closer to shore because the smaller ones always wanted to follow. But this time, in an instant, Emmy was gone. Suddenly, the question came- where's Emerson. I started counting all the kids, checking each one off the mental list. Seconds seemed like hours. Suddenly, I realized- there she is. Her little face barely bobbing above the water, struggling to get air, blonde hair disappearing, arms raised up straight, reaching. We all just started yelling, heading into the water. My friend Holly flew into the water instantly and snatched her up. For the rest of my life I will never forget what my baby girl looked like when Holly got her up out of that water. She was awake, and breathing, but given a few more seconds, that would not have been the case. Praise the Lord she is okay. 

Yesterday, parts of me broke that I didn't even know existed. There are ugly memories I will carry forever. There is a hurt inside me I can't even identify. Guilt. Regret. Fear. And an ever increasing reminder of the fact that life can be over in a blink. 

But there is also assurance in knowing that no matter what happens, God is still in control. Thankfulness for my daughters life, her health. Gratefulness for friends who jumped into action immediately when I seemed to not even be able to form a thought. 

As I laid in bed with Emmy last night, not willing to be away from her quite yet, her hair smelled of sunblock and sand. Those two smells mixed together may forever remind me of yesterday. The good and the bad. As I lay there, I found myself praying my prayer again, mostly as a prayer of thankfulness. Because Emerson belongs to God, not me. And he carries her in His hands even when I can't. And for that, I am forever grateful. 

Hug those you love today. Remember that we are not given a promise of having a tomorrow. And then live in an attitude of gratefulness that God is in control and he carries us every minute of every day. 

Wow! I almost feel like a different person since the last time I blogged. So much has been going on that blogging has taken a major backseat. About 5 weeks ago, we moved from our home in Indianapolis to a new home in Angola, IN. And the week before we moved, we were all shocked to find out I am expecting our third child. So, I've spent the last 5 weeks trying to unpack, make our house look and feel like home, all between being sick and being more sick. Although, thankfully, I'm not suffering from Hyperemesis Gravidarum like I did with my first two.  Well, at least not to the same extent. I'm 10 weeks today, so I'm hoping to turn a corner here in the next few weeks. 

The Lord really laid things out for us with this move. His path was clear. And somehow I assumed that because of that, it would instantly be like putting on an old comfortable sweatshirt. But it's change. It's transition. It hasn't been as easy or as comfortable as I imagined. Our new house doesn't always feel like home. Being sick from pregnancy has really thrown a wrench in all my getting out and meeting new friends plan. It's been lonely. Aaron's work at the post office here has been different, our finances have stretched even more. I've questioned God. But in all of it, there is a peace. A peace in knowing that God knows what he's doing. Even when I don't. 

Thankfully, we found a church that has opened their arms to us. We love them all already. We are so thankful for that. It has made our transition easier. But there is always a little fear in me. Fear at knowing that what they see is all they know. They have never heard our testimony. They don't know our story. They don't know the road we've walked. But, I can't deny God's hand in our involvement with them. And knowing what I already know, I'm hard pressed to believe that Aaron and I will be defined by our past. And this is where I, again, have to choose to believe that God's redemption is stronger and more powerful than any thing we feel defines us. 

I'm hoping to get back to blogging as much as I can. It may be spotty until things level out a little. But, I miss you guys! I miss sharing my heart with you and I miss sharing what God is teaching me. How God's stretching me. Blogging has become part of me and I love connecting with you all. So, I won't be putting it off for much longer hopefully! 

Happy Tuesday!