Wow. What a week last week ended up being. Some of you might have noticed that I disappeared from blog land. Well, that's because on Wednesday night, my oldest daughter Emmy was admitted to the hospital with what the Dr's thought might be viral meningitis. Thankfully, it was only an abscess in her neck that they've been able to treat with heavy antibiotics. But, we were in the hospital for 2 days. We've been laying low since then. I don't have a menu planned because we're leaving for my folks in the morning. I probably won't be blogging much or at all over the next few days.
If you haven't heard, or don't follow national news, or even if you have heard- there was a bus crash here in Indy on Saturday. The accident happened about 4 miles from our house. It was a youth group from a local church on their way home from camp. 3 of the adult chaperons were killed, including the youth pastor and his pregnant wife. The other lady was with the group because she wanted her special needs son to be able to experience camp. After word of the accident got out, I realized that there was some connection from old friends from my high school in MI which just made the grief even deeper. My heart is so heavy for the families and teens that experienced such trauma in the accident. Then Sunday morning we found out that a very influential man in my husbands life went to meet Jesus in his sleep on Sat night. He's the grandfather of our pastor and a man that Aaron has looked up to for almost 15 years. Needless to say, my grief ran even deeper. Although, we rejoice knowing that he's with the Lord. There really is no other place that he wanted to be. He lived his life to meet Jesus, and he has won the race. I don't doubt for a minute that Jesus was waiting for him at the gate with a big embrace and Brother Barney heard "Well done, good and faithful servant." Needless to say, my soul has felt weary. It's been on drain mode the last few days between a hospital stay, tragic death, and loss of a dear friend. But God is faithful y'all. Faithful beyond what we can imagine. I want to share a story with you that I heard last night. It's not really related to any of this, but it proves that God is good. It brought me to tears last night and was salve to this tired, torn up, ragged soul... At a small church in southern Illinois, there was a little boy named Noah. He was 4 years old. He as antisocial, he could wreak havoc on any social gathering, and in 4 years, he'd never spoken a word. The night before his parents were going to take him to see a specialist, there was a special visitor from the International House of Prayer in Columbia at his church. Noah's parents asked that she would pray over him. They brought him up front and she laid hands on him as well as many others in the church. They prayed and the service went on. After service the parents thanked the Pastor from Columbia for praying over him and went home. On the way home, sitting in his car seat in the back of the car, Noah's parents heard this from a little 4 yr old mouth- "Noah feels better now." Oh man, chills and tears just typing it out again. God is good. We may not understand his ways. We can't. It's physically impossible for us to understand God's will. We can't wrap our minds around it. But, when we can't understand His will, we can trust his heart. Because we know God is good. And we know that his ways are not our ways. If you're dealing with a circumstance or situation today and you just don't get it. If you're tired and soul worn, if you're waiting for God's healing- trust in who God is. He is good and he loves you. He wants what's best for you. Sometimes getting there requires things to happen that we feel is totally opposite of God's character, but remain steadfast. Happy Monday!
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I've learned a lot from this little plant. This year I decided to add a little color to my back patio. Last year I didn't plant flowers because Macie was still a baby for the most part and put EVERYTHING in her mouth. This year I decided that we'd be safe with a hanging basket. This basket was beautiful. I was drawn too it as soon as I saw it. It had white, dark pink, light pink, and purple flowers. It was full and cascaded nicely down the sides. It was stunning actually.
Then I bought it. Now let me just start by saying that I make zero claim to be a green thumb. In fact, when it comes to plants, I don't think I have a thumb. For the last few years I've managed to keep geraniums kind of alive in pots on my front porch. I think it's impossible to kill geraniums though. Anyway, for a little while I stayed on top of this plant. I watered it. I loved it. I admired it. Then life happened. And I got to it when I got to it. By last week I decided it was probably done and needed to head to the dumpster. But, I decided to see if I could try and resurrect it. I felt like I was destroying it. I started pulling on the stems and pulling off all the dead brown parts. The dry ugly stems and dried up buds came off pretty easily. After about 5 minutes of this "pruning" of sorts, I had one pretty pitiful looking plant and a huge pile of dead stick looking stems. It was a scraggly mess of half brown half green sticky looking stems hanging out of a black planter. But, I knew that rain was in the forecast so I decided to sit tight and see what happened. This morning I got up and this is what the plant looked like. There were about 40 more flowers on it then there was when I went to bed last night. I went out and looked at it and you can see on those brown looking stems that the life is starting to course through them again. There are green leaves pushing out the brown ones. It's not hanging as limp and lifeless as it was just a few days ago. And as I was standing there inspecting it, this crazy feeling of gratitude and thankfulness raised up inside of me because I realized that this is God's business. He breathes life into those of us that are ready to get tossed out. Sometimes it's ugly. He pulls off all the old dead parts that are choking out the barely existing life. Then he pours his new life into us. And then slowly but surely we bloom again. Are we suddenly the best flower arrangement on the block? No, absolutely not. People walking by still probably wouldn't think that this is a pretty hanging basket. It's still rather scraggly and brown. But the fact is, there is life. There's new life. There is growth where there was none. Is that you today? Man, it sure is me. I feel like God is pulling out all those dead, dried up pieces of me. Sometimes it feels like there will be nothing left of me when he's done. But slowly he has been pouring new life into me. If you're in the same situation, stand steadfast in the fact that God will not leave you dead and dried up. Once the painful pruning is done, there will be life! Happy Tuesday! Well, I successfully fed my family 21 home cooked meals last week. We didn't eat out once. I did notice that my kids behavior was better. The sleeping issue has improved about 50%, but I think that has more to do with imaginary monsters and "monster spray" than it does with the food we've been eating. This week's menu is planned through Sunday. I'm not positive what our Sunday will look like. The Hubs is preaching at our church and then we're heading down to some special services for church in the afternoon/evening. Depending on the timing, it maybe be a fast food dinner day. But maybe I'll get some dinner packed for us to eat on the way. Monday- Smoked Sausage, coleslaw, green beans. This was supposed to be brats, but when I went to the store, they didn't have any! Who runs out of brats in July!? Anyways, Smoked Sausage is the postman's favorite so I grabbed a pack of 6 "links" and I'll boil them up. Tuesday- French Onion Burgers, French Fries, Salad. (We're going for a french theme, can you tell?) Wednesday- Biscuit Pizza. This is one of my kids favorites and I haven't made it in a long time. It's easy and fun. Thursday- Taco's, Mexican rice. We haven't had these in a while either. The kids eat these right up and I LOVE anything mexican. Friday- Grilled BBQ Chicken, Broccoli Bites (these things are insanely good!), Fruit Salad, Mashed Potatoes. Saturday- Lasagna. I haven't made lasagna in forever. I was thinking about this the other day and I decided to put it on this week's menu. Sunday- Leftovers or Eat on the Go. Verse of the Week Ok, so I'm not one to park on a verse on Definitely.Maybe. But seriously, I can't get over this verse. Plus, it comes up at least once a day. I hear it somewhere or I read it or see it on something. It's just everywhere, and I know that it's God placing it there as encouragement. So, it's going to be the verse of the week again... So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.- Galatians 6:9
My Bible study today was on the harvest. I'll be posting a separate blog post later this week about today's bible study on the spiritual concepts of the harvest (cause it was awesome!), but I just wanted to encourage you to keep going, keep sowing those seeds. This verse is a promise that if we just keep putting one foot in front of the other we WILL reap a harvest. Happy Monday!! I've been doing a Bible study on the book of Ruth. It's so funny how God's timing is so sovereign. I've had this book for a while because our women's bible study group at church started it in early summer. But, due to crazy schedules and such, we ended up suspending the study until fall. At the time, I had a hard time really digging into the book. I felt like it was a little distant and kind of far off from the circumstances of my life, so I dropped it in my bible study basket and moved on. Last week I dug it back out because I'd finished my other bible study and OH.MY.HEAVEN. 1- The Living Room Series: Ruth, by Kelly Minter, Page 40
I follow lots of blogs on all sorts of subjects. Running, hair and makeup, decorating, parenting, faith, DIY, marriage, fashion- you name it, I read it. There are so many amazing blogs out there. So many talented people. People with knowledge and influence and a story to share. And I'm sure there is 1 thing that most bloggers might agree with...
Blogging is hard. I've been really dealing with this blog. As I've said before, I feel like this is something that God led me to. I feel like on a regular basis He prompts me with things to share. There are times when I sit down and write an entire blog in about 2 mins flat and have no idea where it all came from when I'm done. And it even kinda makes sense. I'd be interested to see the numbers on exactly how many (active) blogs there are through out the world. I'm sure the number would be astronomical. Which is awesome. But it's also hard. It's like trying to be the one light blue jelly bean in a bowl of cobalt. I struggle with trusting that there is a reason I do this. I struggle with knowing that God has a purpose for this blog. I struggle with knowing that I'm probably in the C- category of faith bloggers. I don't ever feel particularly wise on most subjects. I don't really know deep theological truths. I don't have letters behind my name that match diplomas hanging on an office wall somewhere. In fact, my office is usually the left cushion of my couch whenever I can steal a few minutes to type something up. I don't really know how to network, and what I do know, I find uncomfortable and out of my comfort zone. I dislike "selling myself". I worry that I annoy my Facebook friends with constant blog posts. They didn't agree to be my "friend" to have their walls spammed by Definitely.Maybe. I'm a terrible speller and a grammatical failure (And I know that at least 2 of my previous English teachers have at one point read this blog- Eek!). I honestly have no recollection on how to use a semi colon. But. Every time I post something I pray that at least 1 person "gets it". And I remind myself that what I do isn't for 20,000 hits or likes on the blog Facebook page. It isn't about comment after comment on a post. It's about being obedient and just putting it out there. Because, I do believe that when God impresses something on me, it is for someone. Even just one someone. But I want you to know that the random messages, or comments, or words of encouragement are like putting fresh batteries in a flashlight. They seem to come just at the right time. I find my energy, enthusiasm, whatever you want to call it receding, and suddenly someone shares their heart with me. Thank you for that. It makes being obedient a little easier. Someday I hope that maybe I will have 20,000 hits and facebook likes. I do hope that someday I'll have actual "office hours" even if it's just in a home office. Maybe someday I can be a featured blogger on some big website, or a speaker at a blogging conference. And dare I hope that someday I'll get a nice camera so my pictures aren't sub par. But if not, that's ok. Because it's not about that. I continue to pray that this meager blog touches someone. I pray that God continues to grow me through it. And mostly, I continue to pray that this page, this computer, these fingers typing on these keys will always always be just a means to an end. The end being you knowing how much God loves you and how much he wants to know you. Happy Wednesday! A few weeks ago we had new neighbors move into the townhouse next to us. We've lived in this townhouse for a little over 3 years. In that time, we've had 3 sets of neighbors. I guess that makes us sound like terrible neighbors, but I know that their reason for leaving wasn't because of us! Anyways, this new family just moved in, and surprisingly enough, they are just who I prayed for. A young family! I love talking to people, but I have a hard time intentionally building a relationship with someone. It's hard for me to reach out to people and not be concerned that they think I'm annoying or overbearing. This doesn't exclude my neighbors. As crazy as it is, I've actually avoided my neighbors because I felt so tongue tied. Which is absolutely not me. For some reason this feels so far out of my comfort zone! Recently, I've felt really convicted about not being intentional with my neighbors. So, I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to welcome them to the neighborhood! We've always had pretty superficial relationships with our neighbors, we knew their names and could chit chat in passing, but I was excited when I saw this family. They are young and have a little baby. I feel like this could be my perfect opportunity to encourage a young(er) mom! I decided to put together a small gift basket to give to them with a few things for their new home. I headed to Target with a few ideas of what I wanted to throw in the basket. It only took me a few minutes to find exactly what I was looking for. I started with this white basket. It's just a plastic decorative basket that's about 7.5 x 7.5. Then I found these awesome sponges! How cute are these?! I love them. As soon as I saw them I snatched them up immediately. I went over and grabbed a dish towel that matched the green in them. Then I picked up this dish soap. It smells awesome, plus, it's pink! I love it and it fit with my theme. Then I made some chocolate chip bread. I initially decided against baking something for them but decided that I'd love getting chocolate bread from a neighbor, so why not. I just used a mix, but this mix is my favorite. It makes the best bread and muffins. Yum! I made a small label to put on it with a short message. Finished it with a ribbon, and it was ready to go! Then, I put it all together. I also included a small note card with contact information for Aaron and I, in case they ever needed to get in contact with us while we (or they) weren't home. Here's the finished product.... If you haven't reached out to your neighbors (recently or at all), I encourage you to at least knock on the door and say hello! You never know what they might be needing- an egg, some flour, maybe a little bit of encouragement, or maybe even Jesus! I'm not going to miss my opportunity! Don't pass up yours!
Happy Tuesday! After our crazy week last week, I made a goal for this week. Healthy, home cooked meals all week. I'm conducting a big of an experiment that I'm pretty sure I already know the answer to. My kids were CRAZY last week. Their behavior was out of control and they have reverted to almost new born sleep tendencies. One or both of us was up with either of the girls twice a night. That is so out of character for my girls. They are both great sleepers. I've been so overwhelmed with them the last week and I'm wondering how much of this out of character behavior is from eating "on the go" junk all week. Neither of my girls have any type of food allergies or sensitivities to food or dye that I know of. But, I'm sure after a week of quick, mostly unhealthy meals, it has to have some effect on their behavior. So, this week we're eating at home for every meal and I'm home cooking everything. It may not start out great because I have a feeling this will be sort of a detox week, but here's to hoping! I've planned through Thursday because Friday is payday so our life kind of starts over on paydays. I'm trying something new I've never done before. I'm roasting a chicken! I've purchased them from the deli at the store before, but I've never cooked my own. I'm interested to see how this goes. Good hopefully, because I'm using the chicken in other meals this week! Monday- Roast chicken, mashed potatoes, and roasted green beans. Tuesday- Breakfast. Sausage, Eggs, and probably pancakes. Wednesday- Chicken Spaghetti and garlic bread. Thursday- Sloppy Joes, corn on the cob, and a fruit salad. I made homemade shortcakes for strawberry shortcake 2 weeks ago and they were a huge hit. So, I think I might throw that in somewhere this week as well. Ok, so. This week's verse I've honestly never heard before. In 20 some odd years of bible reading, I'm sure I've come across this verse once or twice, but I heard it last week and was like... whoa! Where has this verse been all my life. The truth is that it probably means more now to me in this season of life than it has in any past so it didn't grab me until now. Oh, that we might know the Lord! Let us press on to know him. He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in early spring.”- Hosea 6:3
I feel like there is so much awesomeness packed into this verse that I could probably preach a whole sermon on it. But, I won't. Instead, I'm going to give the highlights of why this verse means so much to me right now... - Oh that we might know the Lord! I bolded and underlined the exclamation point because it's doing exactly that. It exclaims the fact that we can know the Lord. How great that is! Hosea is showing how great a privilege it is to know the Lord but by that one piece of punctuation! - Let us press on to know him. If you read last weeks Verse of the Week segment, you know that I made an emphasis of "Just Keep Swimming". Hosea didn't say... just keep strolling down the beautiful tree shaded, wild flower dotted lane. He said "press". To me that gives me the idea that Hosea understood that life can be hard. And complicated. And messy. And it takes work. Press. Push. Keep going. - He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming rains in early spring. Ok, so seriously. How great is this. Sit back for a minute and think of a day that you've lived that the sun did not rise. Obviously, I'm drawing a big huge blank. And the point is that God is that consistently faithful. He WILL respond to us. We can be sure of it because that is who God is. Hello!! That's awesome. :-) Man, I love this verse! And God is good. He knows that I'm in a time in my life where I'm pressing toward him. It's definitely not a stroll, and because he's faithful, and he's consistent, He drops verses like this into my life right when I need it as encouragement. And as a reminder to just keep swimming!! I hope that you have a great Monday! Keep pressing and rest in his consistent faithfulness today! I'm so thankful that God knows my heart. Because sometimes it aches for things I can't even explain.
Scratch that. Sometimes it aches for things I'm too scared to ask for. Sometimes I have to sit down and intentionally wade out of my puddle of selfishness and ask for clear sight. Clear sight to see His will. Or just see at all. I've realized that selfish, self fullfilling thoughts, plans, ideas are short sighted. We may tell ourselves that this is a positive thing for down the road, but really, at least for me, I think a lot about today, and tomorrow, and maybe next month. When I'm dry from that puddle I find myself able to say- Thy will be done. Whatever that may be. Even if it's not today, or tomorrow, or next month. And then maybe there is grief. Because there is still traces of mud from that puddle. It has left it's mark on me. My will is rooted. I will go on with my day. And I will allow God to weed the rooted will. And I will say Thy Will Be Done until my heart desires it. And I will wash off that mud. And I will choose to trust that God knows my heart. Until tomorrow. I will wake up and wade out of that puddle... Your kingdom come. Your will be done. Lord, let it be. And let it start with me. Yesterday I read a blog that a friend of mine had posted on Facebook. It was one of those blogs that's going to go viral among christian moms because it's pretty much something we all need to hear. And I knew it was a God thing because, in keeping with my life theme right now, it was all about grace. And not just grace in general, but allowing it in your own life.
As I read through the blog, it was one of those moments were I was like... wow, she nailed it. (Then selfishly I thought, man, I wish I could write like that!) But as I read on, she presented something that was, for me at least, almost an epiphany. I loved it so much that I wanted to share it with you today. As you know, I value honesty on this blog. I purposed to write about real life. Not some made up, idyllic lifestyle with perfect pictures of homemade food I cooked and awesome thrifty DIY projects that are repinned 209384023984 times on Pinterest. That's not who I am. And that's not who I want to present myself to be. I'm screwed up. I'm selfish. I'm emotional. Way more whiny than I should be. I act entitled, I talk too much, and most of the time I'm slightly irrational. But. I will never communicate God's love and redemption in my life (and his desire and willingness to do it in yours) if I don't allow myself grace. Because in allowing myself to receive it, I'm automatically extending it to others. If I always try and appear to have it all together and act like the perfect christian, wife, and mother, I'm only presenting other young moms/women/people the opportunity for comparison. And comparison is the breading ground for guilt, and doubt, and any other mindset that's not of God. Basically, the opposite of grace. If I'm honest about the struggles I have and the things I deal with on a daily basis and I say... "Hey, I deal with anger towards my kids. God is really dealing with me about this and he's showing me ways to deal with them more effectively and in loving Christlike ways. But ya know what? I still only get it right 50% of the time and right now, that's ok. Because God is still growing me and I know he loves me in spite of it." "I want to punch my husband in the face every time he bites his nails. I know that's not the most appropriate response, but I'm so over being nice about it. But, God is helping me identify my attitude and I'm figuring out better ways of communicating my frustration. Sometimes." "I hate being broke. I know there are times when I don't handle our money as I should, especially when it's spent selfishly, but not having money to provide for my kids makes me feel like a bad mom. But, I know God understands my fears and I know he promises to provide for us. Sometimes I just have a hard time applying it in my life." That is going to be WAY less alienating than acting like I'm super woman. Because I'm not. And I don't want people to perceive that. God didn't create us to be shiny happy people. He didn't act that way. His disciples didn't act that way. All the people throughout the Bible that mirrored God's heart- they didn't act that way. Why have we come to the point where we feel like it's necessary for us to be that way? I don't think that's God's intention for us. In Psalm 51:16-17 it says.... You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise. God doesn't need us to bring something perfect to him. He doesn't need a nice pressed, polished, painted version of us. He wants the broken parts of us. He wants our willing spirit. Don't get caught up in fake. Don't get caught up in your shortfalls. Don't get caught up in wish-I-could's. Be who you are. Extend yourself grace. Ask God for wisdom for overcoming those things and start seeking out ways to be more like him. And most of all- let's just be honest. Let's just be the person God sees. The broken, contrite ones. Those are the best ways to be. Don't fear the judgement of others. Set that aside and consider the freedom you could be offering someone else by just being the messed up, human, grace filled you. Consider the freedom you'd be allowing yourself! Try it today. Even if it's just once. I bet you'll feel better... I'm feeling weary today. The list of energy suckers feels endless, from allergies, to burdens of family and friends, to my own desire to see God's next step in our lives. I've got lots going on today, but I'm going to make a conscious effort to rest. I'm going to rest emotionally, spiritually, and (hopefully) physically.
When I start to worry about when and where God is leading our family, I'll choose to rest in his wisdom and faithfulness to me and my family. When I start feeling down about the many needs of those I love, I will rest in his wisdom and his faithfulness to them too. And when I feel physically tired, I'll thank him for the 12 oz of caffeinated goodness in my coffee cup. Are you feeling weary today, too? Rest in God. He promises to be our help. Stand (or lay) on that! |
HEY, I'M JESSICA!
Christian. Wife. Mommy. Daughter. Pastor. Friend. Saved.Redeemed. Beloved.
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