And in the midst of all that dreaming, I'm reminded of my own ordinary mediocrity. I feel like I'll always be that fish that swims right in the middle of the bunch. Which fish? Exactly. The one you've never noticed. The one fish that looks like all the rest.
These are times when I ask God for truth. I need to hear the truth louder than my own accusations of boring. And this is what I hear...
I knew you before you were even born.
I know how many hairs are on your head.
I know these desires in your heart.
I want to give you hope and a future. I want you to prosper.
I also want you to live to please me. Seek out my heart and my will. Desire to become more like me.
So, there's my truth. God knows what I want. He knows my desires. And he also knows what's best for me. He created me to be that little fish. If I trust him with my desires, and my dreams, and my plans He will give me a hope and a future. If I stop worrying about being wise and influential and become more like Him, it will be his impression I leave on people. If I commit my talents and abilities to him, I may not master a skill or hobby, but I will be useful for him. If I seek out his heart for others and his will for my life, he may lead me places I never expected to go in service to him. If I seek out his heart for my children, I will parent with love and extend grace to them even when they don't behave at the most important times and that Christ likeness will extend to my marriage. I may always be ordinary, but when God becomes my purpose, everything else just becomes a detail.